I am feeling very small.
I was maybe going to blog about other things today but my smallness is overwhelming everything else. So I have to write about that instead.
I hope you don't mind.
It's my own fault and I don't want to bore you with the details but in a nutshell, I'm going to court over a parking fine and up until today I was feeling confident and in some strange way, looking forward to telling my side of the story in court. Then I called Legal Aid as the court documentation encouraged me to do and I have been left feeling….small.
The man on the phone was perfectly lovely. But he was honest. He said that my argument is everyone's argument. The magistrate will have heard it all before. And though councils are very frustrating with their overzealous fines and immovable appeals officers, the bottom line is that if there was a sign stating 'ticketed parking' somewhere in the vicinity of the carpark, they have fulfilled their obligations by law. My argument that a reasonable person could have missed the signage will not stand up. It is my obligation to notice any and all signs regardless of how easy they may be to miss.
Now I face paying the original fee plus court costs and having a conviction recorded against me.
I feel like I should have just paid the $70.
But that's exactly what they WANT you to think.
Anyway, small. I feel small and powerless and afraid to have my day in court. Afraid to annoy the judge. Afraid to be another ill-educated member of the public who thought they could beat the system.
And all these feelings have given me some wicked anxiety today. If I don't have a panic attack in the courtroom itself, it will be a miracle.
Thankfully, I have a beautiful friend who was a lawyer in a past life and she has agreed to talk me through it. I know I will feel better once I have done that.
The hardest thing for me to accept at this point is that I wanted to be strong and instead, I have made myself vulnerable. I have exposed a faultline in my mind which though tiny, is just the right size for anxiety to creep back in. I want to make it all go away but I have set this thing in motion and now I have to see it through.
I need to rebuild my strength. I still believe the fine was unfair but I no longer believe the law is designed to uphold what's fair in this instance.
So now, let me segue in order to cheer myself up. I had planned to do a little Frocktober tribute because my daughter has so many damned dresses. But then the weather went to shit here in Melbourne so I only photographed two dresses.
Will you indulge me in some sweet pictures to lift my spirits?
Yep. That feels a bit better. 🙂
Hope you will be ok Angie. You only did what you thought was right. Harlow is the picture of beauty, thank you for sharing your story and pictures of your gorgeous daughter ♥
Harlow is gorgeous. AND you are a tiger. Get those effin’ council folk that make rules to make the general public feel small. It is their sign that was hidden. I am inspired to fight back as well. x
Thanks, sweet Rachael. Your words are always so appreciated here. xxx
Thanks, doll. The ball is a’rollin’ so I just have to gather up my courage, put my big girl pants on and give it a crack. xxx
Hang in there. Take a lesson from the photos – There is almost no problem a good frock can’t fix, or at least give your more confidence to deal with. Good luck. x
Darling…what is a parkingfine in a life?? NOTHING!! No one can do everything right 24/7…relax! Ok, it´s a pain in the ass, but the court day will come, you will go there and that´s it. Solved problem. The judge deals whit this kind of stuff every day, twenty times a day, he doesn´t give a shit, it´s only one more case…Otherwise, if the judge stares at you whit a bad face, that´s his problem, it was not your intention to do something out of the law…
Here in Brazil, parkingfines means nothing…we just pay and it´s ok.
And after all, the conviction record must remais for a certain time, after that, it dessapear, right??
Show must go on, babe…keep you panic attack for a more glamourous occasion!!! kkk
Sorry about my english or about something inappropriate on my words…wish you luck!
Oh crap, Angie. Parking fines absolutely suck as a quick fix way for the councils to get some revenue. When F was a baby, J got lumped with a $380 fine for parking in a disabled spot outside the GP that he’d taken F to see in an emergency. Of course, the sign had not been clearly displayed – and being stressed about F being ill – J didn’t double check. You wouldn’t, would you? So yeah, ouch (in the end he decided not to fight the fine). Thinking of you, and hoping all goes well in court for you xx