Pinterest is mecca for mums wanting to craft up a school holiday storm. Keep those kiddos busy with creative pursuits that Instagram beautifully!
Source: lilliedale.blogspot.com.au via Angie on Pinterest
Source: indesignartandcraft.com via Lila on Pinterest
Source: babble.com via Babble on Pinterest
Just a tiny selection of the many wonderful and creative ideas. So fun! So simple!
Except that nothing is simple with small children. I read the blogs that these photos came from and begin to wonder whether there is something seriously wrong with my children and I. I see the picture of adorable kiddos with heads bent to their creative pursuits. But where is the kid who throws glitter in the other kid's eyes? I see the little tongue poked out in concentration. But what about the part where the kid eats glue?
And where is the photo of the mother openly swilling vodka from the bottle? At 27 minutes past nine in the morning?
I think it's time to admit that my children and I are sub-par lifestylers. We just ain't got it. That good, wholesome fun gene has passed us right on by.
Because here's what craft projects look like in my house.
Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Angie, those adorable papier mache pigs are just a coat of paint away from money box completion. But you're so, sooo very wrong.
We applied a layer of tiny paper strips (which took an absolute age to tear into tiny paper strips) and glue (glue! jesus, fuck, hold me) to the balloons. It took an hour. About 45 minutes in, Luca commandeered me to take over work on his pig while he just checked out what was on tv. The table surface was slick with a watery paste, our entire upper bodies were covered in it. My back was killing me from sitting hunched over. I reread the instructions and discovered we had another 5 layers to go. It was 5:30pm and dinner did not appear to be making itself. I called time on the good, wholesome fun.
I sent everyone to wash their upper bodies while I scrubbed the slick of white paste from the kitchen table. I transferred the wet pig balloons to a tray to dry and I promised the boys we would finish them on the weekend. The weekend became next weekend which became the school holidays.
Today is Monday, the first day back to school. And those pigs remain 5 layers and a paint job away from done. It is all I can do not to throw them directly in the bin for they serve only to remind me of my crafty failings.
From here on in, craft time is a piece of paper and some pencils. It's time the kids learnt how to deface things with dick and balls drawings anyway….
Vote for me in spite of my failings…
You are not alone, I repeat you are NOT alone….I am the original anti-craft ….
My motto is: If they can’t do it themselves (ie requiring nothing more than paper, pencils, crayon… occasionally glue – depending which child) then it ain’t happening. Sometimes the paints get brought out, but it’s a rare event. Even activities with little more than stickers give me the shits, because the 3 year old repeatedly demands I peel her stickers for her. Good times.
I had a honeymoon phase with Pinterest, about two years ago, and then I realised I was never gonna do the kiddo shit I was pinning. Ever. Now, I think I’ve looked at Pinterest maybe twice this year – and I feel much less deficient for it.
You put a smile on my face!!! I also read those blogs and see the pictures, all the children with so much concentration and in my house this kind of activity keeps my kids busy for about 3 minutes and after that time, looks like third war happend in my house…you´re not alone and to tell you the truth, I never met this kind of kid, that do those jobs!! Sorry about my english, ok??? Love!
The sticker peeling demands! Drives me insane.
And yeah, I don’t Pinterest much anymore – just did a search for the purpose of this piece. And all the mocking while, I was thinking, “How cute!” and “How simple!” Sucker.
Thank you so much, Luana! I am glad it’s not just me. 🙂
Oh, and your English is great! I wish I was bilingual. xx
I LOVED the pigs. But then I am the girl who was given a book by my parents (thanks mum & dad) called “101 things a girl can make” and I never successfully made one of them! Did a good line in birthday cakes though
Hahahahaaa! I want to throw the craft box in the bin. what’s wrong with a book? Or a toy that’s already put together? or a ball?
and what’s with wanting your body weight in sticky tape pulled off only to be stuck on a white piece of paper holding NOTHING??!
LOL. A well-timed post, as Sam’s been asking me to do papier mache lately. I shall now avoid it like the plague 😉 x
You made a princess castle cake like nobodies business!
Oh, dude! Do not even start me on the sticky tape. The freaking sticky tape as art! Noooooo!
I can’t say it strongly enough, Annie! Avoid, avoid, avoid! Nothing good can come of it… xx