Okay, pity party officially OVER.
Checking my blood glucose levels four times a day is just what I do now.
Do my fingers start to sweat every time I position the pricking device against my skin? Do I hover over the release button for way too long like a big baby? Wince when the sharp point pierces my skin? Yes, yes and oh yes! I imagine I will each and every time.
I failed my Glucose Tolerance Test by a margin of 0.5. I could rant and rave about how close that is to normal and is all of this erring on the side of caution really necessary but what would be the point?
What's being asked of me, apart from the blood monitoring which is undeniably unpleasant, is to watch my diet and exercise more.
Oh, how dare they!
Sometimes, blessings are disguised.
So I get back on the horse and be comforted by the fact that by the time this pregnancy is through, I will not have ridden the poor nag into the ground with extra weight and a giant baby.
I think if you're not a person who shows external signs of excess (the most weight I have ever had to lose was 6kg – and not after either of my births but back in my early twenties when I was all about indulgence), it is easy to be careless about how you treat your body. Genetically, I am not skinny but I certainly get away with a multitude of sins without weight gain. But I think that can make a person lazy. All the while, on the inside, your body is not thankful for excess pavlova. Which seems ungrateful and at odds with my taste-buds who think it is AWESOME!
The reality is once my baby is here, the diabetes will disappear. This is not caused by diet or exercise (although it is greatly managed by both) but is an insulin resistance caused by my placenta. It is temporary and delivering the placenta will be my 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card.
Once Little Lady is here, I can eat pavlova all day long.
But since my post-birth goal is to celebrate the end of the baby-making era by getting this body into the best shape of my life, getting a headstart on some necessary lifestyle adjustments seems like a great idea. No time like the present.
As to my concerns about the birth, I've received some excellent advice, some from my wonderful readers, on possible compromises to discuss with the hospital so that we can meet somewhere in the middle between the active birth I am seeking and the monitoring they are going to want to do.
If Little Lady could get her little butt here a bit earlier than my due date, that would be ideal. Personally, I like April 6. It has a nice ring to it.
And finally, it occurs to me that it wasn't unfair that I got GD this time but a miracle that I didn't get it while I was pregnant with Zig. Couple that with his early arrival and that's really the only way I could have achieved the VBAC I wanted. All the stars needed to align and they did! Actually, I got really, really lucky last time.
And there's nothing to say I won't be equally lucky this time.
So I am busy counting blessings tonight, even those tricky ones that masquerade as a curse.