Today was spent clearing out the shed. So much shit. How does one accumulate so much shit? Insane.
There was stuff that I have held on to – and was happy to keep holding on to – that just makes Brendon want to headbutt me (he's a pacifist for sure but I know the headbutt look when I see it). For instance, a dustpan and broom set that I think is nifty because it has a long handle but that sits in the shed being nifty zero percent of the time. I have won the battle many, many times but Bren put his foot down this time which is always quite impressive because he wears a size 13 shoe.
In the end, a good spring clean always makes you feel quite exhilarated, doesn't it?
Tomorrow I'll be back in the shed going through baby stuff. There's a bassinette, a Hushamok and lots of developmental toys that Luca and Zig have since outgrown that will get trotted out again from April next year. Very exciting.
Then there are boxes and boxes of baby clothes that won't be appropriate for a little girl and I'll need to decide what to donate, sell or pass on to baby nephews. I've been looking forward to this for a long time because it feels like a huge amount of stuff can be cleared out. After Little Lady arrives and outgrows various items (basinette etc), those things will go, too, and I've been thinking about how freeing that will be to move out of one phase of our lives – newborn/babyhood – permanently.
But now as I stand poised to banish the baby boy clothes from our limited storage space, I feel….melancholy. Drowning in the sentimental.
These tiny clothes are not my children. But they remind me of my children, a time and a place, a smell, that has long since passed.
So parting with this stuff is harder than I imagined. There are so many memories attached.
I will choose one or two favourites and then I will toughen up. Because a sentimental fool is a future episode of 'Hoarders' just waiting to happen.
And then, I think the nursery decorating can begin in earnest. I like to complete one big project before I begin another. Get all my ducks in a row. I love ducks in rows so damn much.
This house is ye olde and there are many, many things I don't like about that but from the moment we moved in, one room, which will be the nursery, has been a favourite.
Check out the wallpaper.
Before he and Luca started sharing, this was Ziggy's bedroom. I loved putting him to bed each night. In the first few weeks after we moved when I felt very unsettled and unhappy in the new (old) place, this was the one room I felt quite peaceful in.
But trying to get Zig's robot-themed room happening with this wallpaper?
And before I discovered that Little Lady was, indeed, a little lady, I felt this wallpaper was another little sign that maybe a daughter was on the way. I had a few – apart from the psychic and the old wives tale quizzes.
The other was this;
The nursery window looks out over the long driveway that runs along one side of the house, leading to the shed. The garden in this place is crazy and overgrown, especially along the driveway. Spring revealed a whole bunch of hidden flowers in the front and back yards but I assumed the garden along the driveway was just bushes.
Until the morning I looked out and saw one beautiful, blooming red rose. Prior to that, I had no idea that a rose bush even existed amongst the thick greenery. And the fact that I didn't notice it until it was in full bloom seems extraordinary. One, single, perfect rose.
In that perfect rose, I saw my daughter.
Thank goodness I was right.