Service Required

by | Jul 14, 2011 | Little FuckUps, MOTHERHOOD | 10 comments

I had grand plans for grand blogging tonight.

Instead, you find me a mere shell of a woman.

I had to get my car serviced today.

It was a scheduled service and required I leave the car for a period of no less than two hours.

I had the boys with me.

I took them across the road to McDonald's. They do love a fry or two and thoroughly enjoy the playground that Maccas so thoughtfully provide at all their "family restaurants" but I knew two hours was a long stretch even with the aforementioned fries and brightly coloured plastic thingies on which to play.

In theory, it could have really worked. Small area filled with fun shit for kids to do, leftover fries for Mumma to hoover. It should have been a great time for all.

Except that:

– it was freezing cold and occasionally raining

– Maccas playgrounds are semi-outside

– semi-outside things get wet in the rain

– kids who play on rained on things get really wet clothes

– smart mums pack changes of clothes but no-one thinks they will need more than TWO sets of changes

– no-one thinks their almost four year old will POO THEIR PANTS approximately three minutes after you take them to the toilet

– locked toilet doors offer some privacy but not soundproofing and so it's pretty clear that the entire establishment could hear what you were saying, including, possibly;

"Why, why, of all the days did you have to do this today? When we're stuck here while we wait for the car??? Why, sweetie, whyyyyyyyyy?"

"Stay still! There's poo everywhere! It's EVERYWHERE!"

"Zee! Leave your socks on! Don't you throw that sock! Don't you throw- dammit!"

"Don't touch the toilet seat! Don't touch it! Just move away from the general toilet area!"

"What do you mean why? It's a public toilet! It's horrendous!"

"Wash your hands. Yes, you need soap. More soap! More soap!"

And finally,

– other kids also play at Macca's playgrounds and other kids are, invariably, arseholes.

 When the mechanic rang to say he wanted to replace my windshield blades, I didn't question him. "Just get it done!" I begged him.

I am possibly driving around in a vehicle with windshield blades worth $136. I can't say for sure.

But stuck at Maccas for 2 hours with the kids?

NEVER AGAIN.

Of that, I am certain.

Hello friends

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I’m Angie!  I mum. I write. I wife. My husband would say this is the correct order.  He’s so neeeedy. I live with my family in Melbourne, Australia, where I complain about the weather for 90% of the year – but I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Except maybe in Lake Como, waving to my neighbours George and Amal each morning.

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10 Comments

  1. Jess

    Oh you poor thing! I admire your ability to blog about even the crappiest of days. I have had two in a row and just can’t bring myself to put it out there.. Funnily enough though, izzy – who is almost 3 – happened to poo herself yesterday on an outing to the laundromat (dryer broke down after she wee’d on her doona during rest time!) none of the above things EVER happen.

    Must be the full moon. Fuck off full moon!!

    Reply
  2. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Yes! FUCK OFF FULL MOON!

    Such odd behaviour from LD, too. I think he was deep within the labyrinthine slide/tunnel thing and just couldn’t get back down in time. Poor little bugger.

    But also, ewwww.

    Hugs for two shit days in a row, lady. xxx

    Reply
  3. MJ

    Days that are literally shitty should be outlawed. Dealing with said shitty swimwear – I mean, clothing – on a public floor is a nightmare. So is the psychological torment of knowing you are stuck somewhere for two hours with small children and no means of escape if required.

    I hope today is shit-free for you! x

    Reply
  4. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Literally shitty days are wrong on every level.

    I know you can relate.

    No shit today!

    Reply
  5. E

    oh I dread the car service days – I really do – I’m yet to battle the bus home, I have pushed a pram that takes up to only 25 kilos with 35 kilos of kids in it – I’d much rather a strained back and sweaty arm pits that sitting in the one confined space for longer than 1/2 an hour!!

    Reply
  6. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    I would have pushed the pram to Timbuktoo but it was fucking freezing and intermittently raining.

    Just an all round shithouse day.

    Reply
  7. Dorothy Kelly

    Hi Angie, Just to let you know that made me remember.I had twins 40odd years ago and went back to check bathroom bath time and found clean 4yold a floating turd in bath!! HA But yes kids have to do it when not always quite the place…

    Reply
  8. Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos

    Oh. My. God.

    I think I’ve had this day. Only not at Maccas. I think it was the gym, and all I wanted was a workout and a chance to shave my legs and take a hot shower…

    They KNOW. They know when you’re stuck. It’s uncanny.

    It could’ve been worse. You could’ve had the airplane Poopapalooza version. It’s very hard to do anything in one of those. During turbulence.

    Oh hell. I’m flying alone with my kids again.

    Save me.

    And hugs to you for having that day.

    Is it wrong your rain sounds heavenly?

    Reply
  9. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    OH.MY.GOD.

    You still shave your legs???

    So jealous right now. Totally realised I was Teen Wolf minus the teen part while showering this morning. Woe.

    You’re flying alone with kids?

    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

    Hugs in advance.

    You may have my heavenly rain any time….

    Reply

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