Made of stronger stuff than I

by | Jul 11, 2011 | Little Luca, MOTHERHOOD, PERSONAL AND FAMILY | 8 comments

Have I mentioned that moving recently has been somewhat traumatic? Have I mentioned the horrendous skin break outs from stress? The eczema on my hands from too many cleaning products? The anxiety and subsequent weight loss? The inability to regain my mojo in any form resulting in lots of take-away dinners resulting in all weight lost being gained back with interest?

Did I mention how I would wake up in this strange new house with the sensation of a steel plate lying heavy across my chest for at least a week? 

Yeah. I have found moving house to be quite the challenge this time around.

My inability to cope highlights just how beautifully the boys have managed the upheaval.

Zee is but a babe. And little babes, though more aware than we sometimes give them credit for, are particularly resilient in times of change.

At almost four years of age, LD is more attuned to what is going on. I had worried that the move might compound the sense of upheaval he was feeling having changed rooms at daycare just weeks before. That move had proved unsettling for him so naturally I was concerned about how he might cope with further change – particularly with something major like his home.

In the weeks prior to the move, I had thought to box bits and pieces up slowly. This became impossible to do on any large scale because LD would fret when anything noticeable (framed pictures on the wall) disappeared. When I explained that I was packing things up to take to the new house (of which he had shown much enthusiasm), he would wail, Noooo, the pictures stay in this house! Pleeease!

As we got closer to moving day, more and more he would talk about how everything had to stay where it was, how we couldn't go to the new house, that he wanted to stay here.

I felt sick about it.

But once we were in the new house, he was amazing. While I was lying in my new bedroom, feeling like I was in a foreign land, LD slept soundly in his new room.

So I'm proud of my big little guy. He has certainly handled the move with far more grace than his crazy mother. Certainly, he has made no request for Valium at any time throughout the moving period. Proud, proud, proud.

He will be turning four at the end of the month and you just know I haven't got my shit together in time to organise any kind of party for the poor little bugger. Of course, I know a kid doesn't need a party every year but it's almost like he's earned one this time. But I can't see my way past dinner tomorrow night. I am not firing on all cylinders yet – in fact, I have been down a cylinder or two for just about as long as I can remember so it's possible I am running without the benefit of any slightly warmish cylinders at all. Which explains much…..

I do love this kid of mine. I am almost certain he deserves a better mumma than he got. Yesterday, he requested that I 'say sorry for uppingset me" and even though he had been a righteous little shit, I did apologise because fuck me, he probably had a point.

I just hope to hell that as I muddle through life in my hopelessly imperfect way that I am not adversely affecting his.

I look normal but...
"My therapist is on speed dial"

Hello friends

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I’m Angie!  I mum. I write. I wife. My husband would say this is the correct order.  He’s so neeeedy. I live with my family in Melbourne, Australia, where I complain about the weather for 90% of the year – but I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Except maybe in Lake Como, waving to my neighbours George and Amal each morning.

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8 Comments

  1. melbo

    Ah, bless you Little Mumma. Yes, he is made of strong stuff but so are you. Don’t you forget it.

    Reply
  2. Ladybird

    It is your imperfections that he undoubtedly loves the most, as do we all.
    Meanwhile – AD’s & Coca Cola – add anything distilled to that mix and I’m there for that party. NOW. Please?

    Reply
  3. MJ

    ADs and Coca-Cola are a pretty winning formula, I reckon. Also? You may disagree, but LD is a lucky boy to have you on his team. x

    Reply
  4. Belle

    Ladybird said it beautifully!!! Honey, you are a fantastic Mumma, and don’t you ever forget it!!! LD couldn’t want nor need a more perfect mother, the universe gave you each other for a reason & you are his one & only Mumma!!! You will get to the end of this down period feeling much better about things, although you are feeling that the boys are far more resilient, you too are one resilient woman!! sending you much love xo

    Reply
  5. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Oh belle Belle! So aptly named, dear friend. Thank you for your beautiful words, beautiful lady. xxx

    Yes, my head is currently ABOVE water so for that I am grateful.

    Reply

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