Here is the number one question I would ask pre-kids Angie:
“What the hell did you do with your time?”
For the life of me, I can not fathom how I managed to achieve so very little back when I had nothing BUT time in which to achieve it. I was rolling in time, luxuriating in it. My time was almost wholly my own. Yes, I worked but then I came home and hello! TIME.
So I’ve been thinking about it. Thinking about what I miss. Here’s a little list. It’s not nearly complete and certainly not in any order of importance (except if it was, Bold would probably still be at the top…)
- Watching Bold and the Beautiful – it’s not even like I was an avid, never-miss-an-episode fan. But when 4:30pm rolled around each day, I could watch it if the mood struck. I could watch it. I had that choice. That was a choice I had. Now, when 4:30pm rolls around, I am freaking out about what the hell to cook for dinner, realizing the kids are still in their PJs and hurriedly changing them before Daddy gets home and what the FUCK is that crunching underfoot?
- Choice – just in general. Just the ability to do whatever the hell strikes me as being a nifty idea in that very moment. Oh, to have the choice to choose again.
- Eating Out – well, duh! Eating out is lovely – except with children. I hear there are people who take their very small people out to dinner. I hear those very small people sit at the table quietly, perhaps colouring in, eating their meals without drama, being adorable. 1. Who the fuck are these children? 2. I hate their parents so much. 3. My children are the devil and taking them out for a meal always ends in tears (mine).
- My Tits – ornamental only (mostly). Fulsome and perky. Works of soft yet firm, alabaster art. Le Sigh.
- Going To The Bathroom Solo – it was a simpler time, those days of closing the toilet door, perhaps catching up on some light reading. Directives and discipline seem to lack force when delivered from the toilet seat. Apparently, pants around ankles is power-diminishing in the eyes of a child. It is their cue to unleash unholy hell, to fight, to cry. Or to bring books and demand they be read. Seriously? People, I am ON THE TOILET.
- Sleeping – not even ‘in’, just regular sleeping in its basic, unbroken form. I look at photos of me pre-baby and then now. Broken sleep will age you like a motherfucker. FACT.
- Lazy Weekend Shagging – B swears we never did this. Yeah, but we could have. Geez.
- Shoes – I used to buy them. And also, WEAR them. So pretty. Pretty, pretty shoes. I love you.
- Reading – sometimes I would read whole books and it didn’t even take me four months. I know! Can you believe it?
- Drunk Dancing – the best kind. Oh man, I really miss drunk dancing.
- Hangovers – I know, weird, right? But a big night followed by the ability to just wallow in misery, venturing off the couch only to procure greasy food and DVDs? Heaven.
- Music – my music, loud. I have this weirdo kid who covers his ears at my music (soft) and shouts at me until I stop singing (rude). Damn weirdo kid, killing my good time.
- Me – Angie, pre-kids. Whoever she was. It’s hard to remember her at all these days. I’d like to tell her she does good. I think that might have made her smile.
Tell me – what do YOU miss most?