The last two days, I've been in a weird headspace. And I really can't pinpoint why.
I think, sometimes, there are too many things to do. Always so many things that need doing. Every now and then, that weight of expectation becomes unbearable. We carry it and carry it and then, there comes the day that it sits so heavily on our shoulders that we start to buckle.
Today, my knees were ready to give out.
But LD wanted to play. Little Zee was napping and LD wanted to hang out with his mumma, "for a little bit" as he likes to say, curling his little fingers around mine.
We headed out to the backyard. We jumped on the trampoline. And when we were tired, we lay side by side and looked up at the cloudless sky. It was a beautiful day.
Above us, we saw birds, butterflies and other insects, soaring, fluttering, buzzing. The intricate webs of the spiders making their home on the verandah roof. We listened to birds tweet, tweeting. The gentle rustle of the wind through the leaves. And then, the distant roar of an aeroplane, way, way up, cutting a path through the endless blue sky.
"I love you, mate," I said.
"Yes," he replied, "I love you."
He snuggled against me. Kissed my cheek.
And in that moment, I was light as a feather.
Awwwwww sniff sniff BLISS BLISS!!!!! A moment in time that will stay in your heart forever, all that other stuff comes and goes but that moment will be with you forever….. I had my moment last night. I felt like crap was tired, had a grumpy child who wouldn’t eat whilst out for tea but she looked at me, wrapped her arms around my neck and planted a big smooch on my cheeks and I nearly cried – BLISS!!
Beautiful – and I think I know what you’re talking about. I’ve been feeling it too. As always you articulate perfectly what many of us are thinking.
I love those moments with the kids. You can get bogged down in the minutinae of everyday life too easily but these little windows of love and tranquility are like gold.
I need a moment! I read that and it brings hope that I’ll have it. Decisions are weighing me down and I’m sick of it.
So true, Jane. If you just open yourself up to the tiny little moments, they can definitely sweeten an otherwise shitful day.
God, I love the feeling of those little arms around my neck!
Thanks honey. xx
Every day life can be excruciating in its predictability. Being present for these little moments, really present, can definitely be the difference between a good and a bad day.
Hang in there, honey.
We carry a heavy load but it’s okay to drop it sometimes and just lie back and look at the sky with your kid.
Just beautiful and as always so well put. Love the photo too – gorgeous. Had a bad start to today as well….and at nap time Mae was soooo not interested but instead of the usual screaming for my attention i hear “Kah Kah…Kah Kah” (you know Robin Williams style). Cracked me up completely and we laughed and laughed together. A very much needed pick me up and then I wasnt so bothered by the no nap time 🙂
Thanks, Ruthy. xx
Oh, the sleep resister is a nightmare. I’m so glad you were able to let the moment transcend into something gorgeous instead. I know I don’t always succeed but when I do, it is joy.
*Sigh* I love those light moments! You captured that beautifully here. And for the record- I really get the weird headspace thing, too!
Thank you, Galit.
Oh, the light moments sure do make up for the headspace of weirdness!
Beautiful! I live for those moments, I really do. Makes everything else pale in significance.
They really do, don’t they?