I was standing in line at the supermarket and this is the exact thought that was going through my head:
"I want to have a glass of wine to celebrate Harlow's birthday tonight but really, I can't. I am so tired. I feel like I could just collapse right here on the dirty, linoleum floor. I feel like shit. My body hates me. Why have I had this same pimple for a month? I need to detox. I look like hell."
And just as those thoughts were trailing through my exhausted mind, I saw her. Entering through the automatic gates, she broke into a smile. "Hi!" she called. It felt like she was talking to me and I did that panicked, "Oh shit, how do I know this person?" mind raid and came up empty. Who was she and why was she walking directly towards me?
"I read your blog," she said.
A fan moment. I mean, I have assumed the double takes people have given me over the years were attributed to my guest role on The Secret Life of Us, so sure, I wasn't completely new to fame but this was the first time I was being recognised for my writing and not my untamed beauty.
"I suppose you get people coming up to you all the time," she said.
No, never!" I blurted and then silently vowed that should this ever happen again, I would wave the comment away modestly because I think that's what famous people would do.
We chatted briefly and she was absolutely the sweetest person but as I left the supermarket with my ice-cream cake and Metamucil, a gnawing feeling of despair grew inside me.
Later that evening, after we celebrated a little girl turning one with a last minute cake from the Frozen Goods aisle, I did the only thing a modern woman can do – I took to Facebook to stalk my fan. Who was she and why was she making me feel so god-damned bad about myself?
Her profile pic told me everything I needed to know.
The one, single and only fan I have ever run into and who ran into me on a day when I was feeling completely and utterly hideous about myself, IS A MODEL.
Tall and gorgeous and so incredibly lovely – the trifecta from hell.
Now I love all of you who read these words and I know that in addition to your obvious intelligence, you are all super attractive too but I'm going to admit I never really pictured any of you as making a living from your ridiculous good looks. Silly me.
I know people don't read The Little Mumma aspirationally – uber-gorgeous mummies with hipster amaze-balls decor is not my niche. I get it. But I feel like I put just enough filters on all my photos so that you might think I am kind of cute and awesome.
But now Melanie knows the truth. Melanie, you darling girl, thank you for giving me the greatest/worst moment of my life. I was so honoured/humiliated. If you wouldn't mind keeping my midget status and problem skin a secret from the rest of the readers, that would be super.
Seeing as how I had this whole idea about this week just gone being christened "Birth Week" in honour of my Harlow's first birthday, I am excited to announce that next week is officially "Birth Week" here at The Little Mumma. Because time management is an issue for me. Shoosh. Expect to read a birth story, a list of labour must-haves and a giveaway over the next seven days. Unless it all goes to shit and I cancel "Birth Week" until the next next week. Shoosh.
Love that Angie. I actually had someone stop me at the market recently – “Hi, are you Zanni? I read your blog.” She was lovely too. It was weird though that she knew all about me and my children. But I felt totally famous. I am sure I would be as stoked as Melanie to bump into you in all your awesomeness in the street. x
I can honestly say never been stopped at the shops, and usually if I see someone I know I stay an aisle ahead. But then again I dont write a blog, or have any sort of fame to my name hehehe
Loved this entry 😉 I knew it you were just as “normal” as all of us haha (using normal loosely)
Honey, you know I have a mega crush on you?! So stop disrespecting yo ass or I’ll have to come to Melbs and give you a talking to!!
You are TOTALLY cute and awesome! Melanie thought so, I think so… all your readers do. And as for Bren and your kiddos!!
You are aspirational for me… you make me want to write well, and be funnier and reach out to people with openness and honesty. So there.
Maybe I meant inspirational?!
You have made it, my sweet. This is celeb status in blogland!
Happy birthday to the little lady and I hope you did get that glass of wine.
Not aspirational? My arse. Go back and look at your post on Harlow’s baptism!
Also? I think I’d probably go all giggly if I encountered you in the supermarket…