In Quicksand

by | Mar 3, 2013 | Little Angie | 19 comments

I am my own worst enemy.

No-one expects more of me than I do of myself.

I have too much on my plate and I feel bad if I don't put my hand up for more.

I just joined the parent committee for Zig's kindergarten. I am in charge of Grants.

I signed up to be a parent helper for the reading sessions at Luca's school once a month. I really should have selected fortnightly.

I am organising Harlow's baptism. Exactly a month later, she will turn one. Another celebration to consider.

I won't bore you by listing the million and one things that are involved in running a household of five people. You already know it all. You are faced with the same challenges. I know I am not unique.

And then there is this space. It is always on my mind. I fall asleep writing posts in my head. Many of them never make it to this page.

I know I've sung this sorrowful tune before, too. I am sorry.

It's just that I realise I would be a better mummy if I wasn't a mummy blogger.

I feel as though I am in a constant state of chaos because I do not have time for everything. It's Sunday night and instead of sitting on the couch watching stupid tv with my lover, I am blogging about how blogging is burying me alive.

But how do I walk away from everything I have built here? I don't want to walk away.

But it would be one less pressure in my life right now. A significant freeing up of my time. 

I don't know what this post is about. Harlow is sick with a cold AND teething, and then there's my questionable mental state.

I have to make some adjustments. That might mean cutting back on the number of posts I do. If I knew I only had to publish two pieces a week that might help. At the moment, I have set myself up to always fall short. I can't keep putting myself through that.

I need to try something else.

 I hope you'll stick around while I figure it out.

Hello friends

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I’m Angie!  I mum. I write. I wife. My husband would say this is the correct order.  He’s so neeeedy. I live with my family in Melbourne, Australia, where I complain about the weather for 90% of the year – but I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Except maybe in Lake Como, waving to my neighbours George and Amal each morning.

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19 Comments

  1. Kate

    What about a combination… I follow a few other blogs and often they do things like photo of the day. A couple of written posts and what about some guest bloggers?

    First & foremost lovely, don’t stress, it’s not worth it and it is more than likely not anywhere near as bad as you think it is…. xxx

    Reply
  2. nics

    You provide a great read to many and although only a small percentage make comment I am sure many more appreciate your wit and honesty in these blogs. If it’s time to focus on you for a while, don’t hesitate. Take care of yourself X

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  3. Karen T

    Ok you. Now listen. We love you. We will stick around. For now, maybe once a week? And then little tiny snippets on faffbook. OK?
    It will get easier, the kids will get bigger and you’ll have more daytime to blog.OK?
    What does Bren reckon??
    Love to you my friend, from one overloaded mama to another xxx

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  4. Bec

    Angie, I am the world’s worst blog commenter but I always read. And of course I will stick around; I love your writing too much to not stay! Please do what you need to. We’ll be here. x

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  5. Virginia

    I also suck at commenting but I care LOTS!! Please look after yourself. As much as I love reading, laughing and often crying here YOU and your family are way more important than any blog (even if it does often make it into the top 10 blog list!!!) much love xxx

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  6. Mummalove

    Oh cherub, you just do what you need to do for the sake of your health, sanity and family. We’ll be here x

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  7. naomi@jackbuilt.com.au

    Writing / blogging can be a great space- a saver of sanity and a kid free zone – especially great to vent in a safe community. In saying that, time outs are not just for toddlers:) maybe don’t ‘decide to or not to’… Just breathe and let go- if it feels right do it, if not let it go. The world will turn and we will all understand. Be free.x

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  8. Madeleine

    Oh, lovely one… looks to me like plenty of your avid readers understand where you’re at. And yes, you DO have a lot on your plate. Good on you for acknowledging that it’s not easy – I am so bored with the image of perfectionist Type A mothers that too many bloggers promote (I call bullshit on that). You keeping this space real is what keeps people coming back, okay? And if that means blogging once or twice a week, your readers ‘get’ it. They wouldn’t be here otherwise.

    Not that I have any kind of big following/community, but lately I’ve been lucky if I get anything posted on a weekly basis… and I suspect I have far less on my plate than you do. Please be gentle on yourself. xxx

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  9. rachael @ mogantosh

    Twice a week is a good start Angie. Sounds to me like you already have a solution. Don’t get trapped in that notion of feeding the beast – your priority right now is not growing your blog, it’s growing your little ones, right? You’re a great mum doing a hard job (for me that first year of having three kids was my toughest EVER.) Time later to focus on daily posting or other more ambitious plans. Don’t let the tail wag your dog my friend. xx

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  10. Hannah

    take. a. break.
    x

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  11. The Urban Mummy

    I can completely relate as I’m just starting out with the whole ‘blogging’ thing and I often go a couple of weeks without actually getting to my computer to download the brain dump of ideas that I’ve had (also for me in the early hours of the am)…I only have one new bub so I admire your ability to do this with your family. Take time to do what feels right for you, if you burn out or start to resent the blog itself it won’t be good for anyone. Your readers will be here for you when and if you return ! You and your family are no. 1 and remember you aren’t alone in these feelings….being a Mummy is a very challenging role….give yourself some time to just ‘breathe’….lots of love

    Reply
  12. Vicki @ Knocked Up & Abroad

    I have recently stepped back from the blog cos life was just pushing forward so fastly and I can’t miss the life train. There are other more important things that need me than the blog. It has taken a bit to get used to the idea admittedly but no one is banging on my door yelling at me for not writing a blog post. The blog is a sometimes thing. You are such a loved blogger, your followers are always going to understand and be happy with whatever you decide to do. 2 times a week is still heaps! Give yourself a break champ. You’re amazing and I admire all the things you do and how dedicated you are to that little family of yours. Breathe. Enjoy them whilst they’re little. Sex your fiance every now and then and remember us only when you feel inspired to really share something. xox

    Reply
  13. Fiona Denny

    Don’t think about it just do it, post when you can – we’ll still be here! Easier to post a quick status in fb or a pic on Instagram! I’m just catching up on some of your recent posts as I lie in hosp at 35 weeks with contractions so you’re still keeping me entertained 😉 Family definitely comes first.. We’re happy to come 4th or 10th.. Well maybe not 10th.. Love your work Mumma xxxx

    Reply
  14. Zanni, Heart Mama

    Going through something similar myself. I will be here, when you get back. And whatever works for you is what’s important! xx

    Reply
  15. Nadine

    There is no need to post daily. Don’t think of your blog as a stresser but an outlet. Use it when you need it. 🙂 I understand feeling like you are being pulled in a million directions. By 7pm I am ready for bed but force myself to stay up until 9 or 10 so I can spend time with my husband,read, post, watch tv, and so on. Good luck.

    Reply
  16. tina

    I think your readers have said it all. You are a much loved blogger but you do need to give yourself a break darling. I worry about you overdoing it and wonder what I can do to help. You are an absolute miracle with all the things you do but need some Angie time. Can I babysit while you and Bren go to the movies? (in the afternoon as you wouldn’t stay awake at night)

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  17. KC

    Aww, don’t feel bad. You’ve built something here are we are all a community. You’ve share with us your sweet life, yu’ve been real, and you have taught us something about frugal living. Of course we undergo that stage in our life, we encounter problems, we don’t have the time, and all. But hey, you also need to take care of your family. Yes, I agree with some of the comments here. You can update us from time to time. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll overcome this. You’ll know what to do, you can do it.

    Reply
  18. Uriel

    Amazing blog, thank you very much for the information its very usefull !!

    Reply
  19. Carla

    Yeah I feel your pain. It’s tough being a mom and trying to balance other responsibilities. You really hit the nail on the head when you said “I fall asleep writing posts in my head. Many of them never make it to this page.”.

    I feel the exact same way. Blogging can be really consuming. You clearly have a gift and I really enjoy reading your posts. I’m sure over time everything will become clear to you 🙂 Hang in there!

    Reply

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