One little girl.
A mother's full heart.
I went out to dinner tonight. Something I never do. Bren was at home with the kids. With Harlow. At 9:00pm I checked my phone. No messages. I put it back in my bag and didn't check it again for another 50 minutes. It was in silent mode so I hadn't heard the call at 9:08pm. And another, still at 9:08pm. 9:09. 9:10. And I didn't get the terse text that read, "Don't worry about it. She's asleep."
I arrived home at 9:50pm and checked my phone in the driveway. Missed calls. Lots of them. I rushed inside. Bren sat on the couch holding Harlow. Apparently, she had cried for 40 minutes before he decided to call me. Why hadn't I answered my phone?
Naturally, I was wracked with guilt. I felt sick.
Time is flying. It has stolen away my newborn and it plans to go right on stealing away her babyhood, a little each day. But she is still a baby and predominantly, she is my baby. I am her go-to for….most everything and will be for a little while yet.
On the one hand, it is dispiriting to think that it's all but impossible for me to get away for a couple of hours but on the other, it reminds me that I am very much still the mother of a young infant. Time moves fast but my baby girl is still exactly that. My baby.