Get a load of these two. They are deeply gorgeous, bias be damned.
Bren took this pic on a recent bike ride around the neighbourhood. Yes, there were bikes (not pictured here). You think we just strap helmets on them for tree-sitting? What are we, insane?
Well, actually, yes, we are insane. Because bike rides with Luca and Ziggy are an exercise in losing one's mind.
I attempted it this week.
We're down the coast for a couple of days. I promise to take the kids for a bike ride down to the park. It's stupidly cold and windy, and Harlow is disagreeable but fuck it, we're going to have some fun on this god forsaken trip away so we all suit up in blizzard gear and head off.
Luca is on his new birthday bike and pedals ahead. Zig is on his trike which he refuses to pedal, preferring to use his horrendously slow feet to propel him along. That leaves Harlow and I somewhere in the middle, but this is problematic because Harlow is screaming if I am pushing the pram at anything less than a moderate jog.
An elderly man passing by makes the comment, "What were you thinking?" and laughs good-naturedly. In reality, I laugh along but in my mind, I kneecap that old fucker.
The only saving grace is that Luca is exceptionally well-behaved when riding and will always stop and wait before he gets too far ahead. In no other facet of his little life does he care to listen so in this moment, as Harlow wails and Ziggy stops to ponder the grass, you can understand why he is my favourite child.
After fifteen long minutes, we reach our destination. It occurs to me that had I walked this distance alone, it would have taken approximately three.
The wind has picked up by now, and the park, being beside the ocean, bears the full brunt of its gale force. Harlow has finally fallen asleep and I attempt to position the pram behind a bush lest it take off into the air like a tornado cow. Luca and Ziggy run around the perimeter of the park a few times, high colour on their cheeks, hair whipping their faces and I swear, becoming airborne once or twice. Even they seem unsure how to play in these rugged conditions.
They snake down the slide once or twice and when I spot icicles hanging from their noses, I round them up and begin our Tour de Fucked the 300 metres back to the hotel.
And what a fine picture we make. Luca riding and braking and dinging his bell at anything that moves, me pushing the pram, semi-jog, and then halting to holler back at Zig meandering along, head lolling back as he regards a fence paling with mild interest.
It was then I made the decision; I'm happy to keep reading and also, the movies, but bike riding is now strictly a Daddy activity.
It goes without saying that I love the photo. The photo is ultracute.
But the great outdoors can bite the big one. The potential for some kind of mishap increases with each additional child and … it’s winter. But don’t worry because in a few months it will be summer and then it will be too hot to do this shit then too.
I think this is what playcentres are for. And they have coffee and airconditioning.
I do love a play centre, Mel. I really do. Except in school holidays and other peak times when there are kids there who aren’t mine…
And yes, I can’t wait for summer and all the bike rides I won’t be taking them on.
Thanks for the laugh – i actually properly laughed out loud to my computer 3 times in this post! (not just a giggle) “what were you thinking”, the tornado cow, and the head lolling regarding a fence paling with interest. Bless having 2 year olds.
As for play centres… the last time i went to one my beautiful 2yr old daughter stripped off her shorts, and then her nappy, then ran towards me shrieking with joy at her skills, while spinning the nappy lasso style around her head flinging little bits of poo everywhere. I. Died. I avoid playcentres now…
Thank YOU for letting me know about those laughs. Always good to hear. My pain should not be naught.
Your play centre story? Oh Em Geeeeeeeeee! What is that about? Not right. And yet, that nappy lasso image is beyond perfect.
I laughed out loud at that post…particularly the knee-capping scenario played out in your head. I have had similar thoughts but the reality has always been different! Then of course there has been the very occasional time when I’ve been near snapping point and thinking, “Go on. Say something. I DARE YOU!”….