The Little Daily: 4 months and Failing

by | Aug 17, 2012 | Little Daily, Little Daughter | 19 comments

The Little Daily 17.8

 

Exactly four months ago today she was born.

And as it goes with babies, this feels like both yesterday and forever ago.

In the chaos of family life, time has stolen away my newborn. 

Time is unkind, not least of all because of things I can never seem to fit within it's rigid framework.

Yesterday I took Harlow to her check-up with the maternal and child health nurse. While there, we discussed the uneven leg creases that the nurse noted last time, the creases she indicated can be linked to hip issues, the creases she told me to get checked out by my GP.

I had not been to the GP to check out those creases. Two months had passed since I was told to do so. 

She also noted Harlow's inability to bear much weight on her legs. This was often linked to babies whose mothers had a vitamin deficiency in pregnancy, but was helped tremendously by giving the baby Pentavite for the first year of life. Was I deficient in vitamin D during my pregnancy? Were we advised to give Harlow a vitamin supplement from birth? Had we been doing this?

My answers; yes, yes and yes. I was lying about the last one.

Four short months of life and already I have dropped the ball on two important health issues.

There is no good reason for either except that time steals away all my best intentions and I'm tired and I'm forgetful and I'm sorry.

Except that sorry means fuck all if Harlow's hips are uneven and it sure as hell won't bring back the two months I wasted when she could have been wearing a brace to fix it.  

I rushed home to book an appointment with the GP and to give Harlow some Pentavite (full bottle we've had for four months, due to expire in two weeks), and for good measure, I popped her on her belly for some tummy time because I am fucking hopeless at doing that, too.

Today I took Harlow for an ultrasound on her hips.

They are fine.

I can't help feeling like the luckiest fuck-up alive.

 

Hello friends

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I’m Angie!  I mum. I write. I wife. My husband would say this is the correct order.  He’s so neeeedy. I live with my family in Melbourne, Australia, where I complain about the weather for 90% of the year – but I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Except maybe in Lake Como, waving to my neighbours George and Amal each morning.

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19 Comments

  1. Belle

    You know what honey, don’t beat yourself up!!! Life is sooo freakin busy with 3 munchkins!!! And I have learnt that when it comes to Maternal child health nurses, take everything they say with a grain of salt, after all, I was told that Aidan had “severe developmental delay that would effect him for the rest of his life”!!!
    You are an ace Mumma, & don’t ever forget it xo

    Reply
  2. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thank you, honey.

    I definitely know that I have my hands full. I also acknowledge that I am doing an okay job most of the time.

    But geez, I’ve been to the docs so many times this winter, why didn’t I get her checked out on any of those occasions?

    And if her hips hadn’t been fine, I can’t imagine how I would be feeling now…

    I am, it turns out, a shithouse juggler.

    Reply
  3. Rachael Van De Straat

    Well said Belle, I too have had child health nurses say that my children had health issues. Lucky thou they are both healthy little girls. You are a wonderful mumma Angie <3

    Reply
  4. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thanks, Rachael. xx

    The nurse was actually lovely and very supportive – she told me not to panic or beat myself up. I did that all on my own!

    Reply
  5. Julie Firkin

    Angie, you’re being way too hard on yourself. You have three children and a partner. Life rolls. When it comes to your kids, you go with your gut feeling. Tess had the same crease issue. I never had her checked. She’s just like me – a bit chunkier around the top of one leg than the other. Poor bugger has my build. Your kids look wonderfully healthy and loved to bits. Keep on keepin’ on love!

    Reply
  6. tina

    Oh my God Harlow looks just like you in that photo! How beautiful she is (and you). You are doing a great job. Hell, If I’d had 3 children I probably would have left one of you behind at a shopping centre or something!

    Reply
  7. Kylie

    If something HAD been wrong, it would have bothered you and you would have had it checked. Mothers intuition is highly underrated!

    Reply
  8. Zanni, Heart Mama

    Not a fuckup! Just like all of us perhaps. There is so much we have to be sorry for, really, by these standards, because how can we keep up with it all?? I am so glad your baby girl’s hips are fine, and I hope you have forgiven yourself. Xx

    Reply
  9. Claudine Innes

    The challenges of parenthood are unending, Angie. I love your blog because of the brutal honesty of it all…we are, after all, only human. And, as humans are wont to do, we sometimes make mistakes. We forget a lot. We are running on sleep deprivation and caffeine – the good thing about these tiny humans that depend on us, is that they are surprisingly resilient. On the contrary to Harlow,my daughter was born (vaginally) in the breech position. All initial checks appeared fine, her little creases perfectly even, and yet her ultrasound showed some hip dysplasia. Fortunately, her follow up ultrasound (which I also missed by a month because we couldn’t afford it!!) showed that her hip had corrected itself. Thank God for these mercies. And interestingly, I had tested as vitamin D deficient throughout my pregnancy, despite taking double the recommended dose of supplements, which I attribute to being a permanent night shift worker and never seeing the bloody light of day, and yet she is fine. My point is, they’re stronger than they look. We ARE good parents, and even though we sometimes “drop the ball” as you put it, most of the time, what we’ve let go astray isn’t something that cannot be redeemed. I’m sending you a hug, from one sleep deprived, inefficient juggler to another! xx

    Reply
  10. Pregnancy Week by Week

    Nutritious food plays an important role during pregnancy. Because it helps to avoid vitamin deficiency problem during pregnancy .

    Reply
  11. Xiomara Maldonado

    There are always so many things that as moms we have to do. It can be overwhelming, and of course when we don’t get around to it all, we heap the guilt onto ourselves. I wouldn’t say you’re failing. Just keep going forward. You’ve got this!

    Reply
  12. Ladybird

    Love you. That is all.
    x

    Reply
  13. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Oh, Claudine, thank you for this amazing and eloquent comment.

    Yes, most everything is redeemable and the kids ARE resilient.

    I am so glad your daughter’s hips were okay. It’s a troubling time until you know for sure.

    Oh and kudos for birthing a breech baby! That’s very cool.

    xx

    Reply
  14. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thank you, Zanni.

    She is fine and I have forgiven myself. But if she wasn’t, I know I wouldn’t have.

    I got lucky.

    xx

    Reply
  15. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thank you, sweet Julie.

    You’re right. Life DOES roll – but sometimes it is more like a tanker than I care for! Squashed flat, I am…sometimes.

    xx

    Reply

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