13 little weeks, and also, exactly 3 months old today.
I'm writing this at 3:42pm so 3 months ago today I was either still with legs in stirrups having some, ahem, repair work done or I was taking my first post-birth shower which is probably the best shower a woman will ever have in her life.
But you're probably reading this at around 8pm at which time, 3 months ago today, I would have been up in my room on the maternity ward, gazing at my brand new daughter and wishing Bren didn't have to go home.
In the last few days, Harlow has begun to discover her hands and goes quite cross-eyed as she regards them with wonder.
I think about the discoveries that lay ahead for her. I love that as her mother, I get to make those discoveries with her – because the world becomes a new place when you view it through the eyes of your child.
Becoming aware of her own hands is the very beginning of how Harlow views herself in the world and becomes aware of her place within it. In these moments of babyhood, there is nothing to cast a shadow on that wonder. Her hands are real and beautiful and she delights in them for what they are, completely without the expectations or opinions of others. She doesn't need to be anything. These moments are pure.
They are also fleeting. I'm trying to linger here as long as I possibly can.
Linger away! Her face – just pure gorgeousness.
And yes, that first post-birth shower. I still look back on mine with amazement. How can one shower experience be so damn wonderful? If someone had told me about it before I became a mum, I’d have thought they were nuts… but there are no words to describe how good it feels to wash the messy rawness of childbirth away. Refreshed is an understatement.
Oh Harlow Rose, you make my heart melt with that beautiful smile of yours. Your mother knows what it is like to long for a daughter and when I look at you, I say a prayer that I hope will be answered. Angie, you are so lucky! Yes, post birth shower was awesome while everything was still a little numb. haha.
I want to eat that baby. The cuteness!! Just stop it will you! I’m clucky at the best of times and this tipping me over the edge.