The birth story is coming. This isn't it.
But it is all the post-birth info that's fit to print.
Labour Duration: 2 hours, 20 minutes
Amount to which this amazes me: super-maximum amount
People who have now seen my business end up close and personal: super-maximum amount
Ability to chat and make jokes while someone stitches up my perineum: unrivalled
Baby cuteness factor: off the scale
First shower post-birth: amaze balls
In fact, all showers since birth: more balls of amaze
Gender surprise at nappy change time: on-going – no balls = amaze!
Milk supply: gangbusters
Breastfeeding: like mofos
Major emo crying episodes: days 4 and 5 post-birth
Things that set crying off: Luca holding baby, Ziggy saying baby's name, baby being beautiful, baby breathing, global warming
Boob status: porno-esque
VJ status: sitting down was occasionally a trip down birth memory lane but all ship shape now, cap'n
So good lovin' is imminent: ha ha ha ha – no.
Baby sleeping: sure
Sure means: when baby feels like it
Mumma sleeping: when baby feels like it
But seriously: I can't complain
Except: ohhh, my gaaaaaaaaaaaaahd, I am soooooooooo tiiiiiired
Sugar consumed post-GD: wouldn't like to say
Possibility post-birth sugar consumption has made me diabetic for reals: possible as can be
Photos taken: 1 bazillion thousand
Hours burned baby-gazing: see above
Big brother love: overwhelmingly in your face and kissy
Daddy is: besotted
Dressing a girl is: credit card scorchingly brilliant
Overall assessment: having baby girl an excellent decision all round – babymooning our faces off