Source: hellyeahpinkthings.tumblr.com via Christina on Pinterest
The stories keep repeating in my head.
"..had the whole nursery done up in shades of pink and lavender and then the doctor says, "It's a boy!"…"
"….enrolled him, pre-birth, into that exclusive all boys school, non-refundable deposit, you know, and then at the birth, that baby was the prettiest little girl you ever did see…"
It happens. I don't know with what kind of frequency but we've all heard at least one tale of the 20 week scan predicting one gender and quite the opposite popping out, come birth day.
So as I collect things with frills and flowers and bows and shit, a little niggle at the back of my mind says, "Are you sure? Are you really sure?"
Well…I think I am.
The scan was conducted by an experienced sonographer who gave a 95% certainty to the girl prediction. I can only assume they leave the other 5% twisting in the wind as a means of covering their arses.
When the sonographer left the room to check over the results with a doctor, a student sonographer went through and pointed out things again and in greater detail.
Key points: we did see a vagina. We did not see a penis.
In fact, the view of the baby bits was extraordinarily clear thanks to the near perfect Penthouse spread our little daughter was giving us. Such a proud moment.
But that brings me back to the sonographers who get it wrong. How are they getting it wrong? By 20 weeks, the bits are developed enough to say with certainty. 12 week predictions – yes, fraught with danger and the possibility of error. But by 20 weeks, surely it comes down to seeing a wang or not seeing one?
No doubt error occurs because of baby's position on the scan and just how visible things are. But in that case, wouldn't you, as the sonographer, say the view was obscured and therefore, no prediction can be made?
Or am I discounting the crestfallen faces of the parents-to-be, their pleading for "just a rough guess"?
Again, giving thanks for our little Penthouse pet.
Hmm. Something about the above sentence makes me uncomfortable….
Anyway, I remain….nervous.
There were two things I could be reliably counted on to grow during pregnancy – skin tags and penises (to be clear, the skin tags grew on me, the penises did not).
And we wanted a little girl with every fibre of our being.
Getting something you wanted so, so bad? Always feels unsettling. As though it could be ripped away at any moment.
So I remain nervous.
Until that little girl is in my arms, I suppose nervous is how I'll stay.
My ob had ultrasound equip in his office so I got to see CJ at every visit. I felt the same as you do. I asked my ob to “check if he’s still a boy” with each visit. Even when I could see without a shadow of a doubt, I would not 100% believe it until I could see ‘it’ in person, myself.
Have you entertained the idea of having an independant 3D/4D ultrasound, just to settle your nerves? It might be money well spent in the long run, and you get to see your precious little Penthouse pet again!
‘Getting something you wanted so, so bad? Always feels unsettling. As though it could be ripped away at any moment.’
This is a perfect quote!! Love it!!!!
I think I should, Ash. I miss her little face anyway.
Thanks, Emma! Yep, I expect good things in my life and am generally sunny but this is a HUGE thing and I can’t quite believe we could be so lucky.
Oh, I’d love that, Kate!
But yeah, until she’s in my arms, I won’t be satisfied…
I remember a friend once telling me the sonographer had told her she was having a girl but she wouldn’t believe it until she saw her for herself. She was a girl. Very much so.
If it’s any reassurance I think those ones where they do make mistakes, there is some ambiguity there. It is possible to be wrong but if you got a good look at the area concerned, then feel confident in what you saw. You have good reason to be.
I have had that same sense of disbelief and worry when things have gone well. I shouldn’t have but it is hard sometimes to trust that all is well and will be well.
Yeah, it was a very good look.
And I think you’re right. Who knows what the sonographer has actually told a couple about their baby’s gender? They may have been given a best guess and yet they’ve taken the news to the bank.
With Luca, I’d had an amniocentisis so he was 100% irrefutably a boy. With Zig, we were told boy and I never questioned it. And yet I’m totally questioning the girl. Logic? None.
I know that feeling all too well! So excited for you….your daughter will be an absolute stunner!
Thanks, honey. xx
My darling daughter would never open her legs at scans so I was always told “sorry, we dont know” so she had to be a surprise I would hope the sonographer wouldnt say unless they knew for sure, would be interesting to see how many have been wrong. Would make me nervous and if you ever had one after that you wouldnt know what to believe if they got it wrong the time before lol
I did the questioning thing too. With F, the sonographer told us she wouldn’t give us any more than 70% certainty that she was a girl… and of course, that wasn’t good enough for me. I spent the rest of that pregnancy worried that if got my hopes up, bub would end up being a boy (nothing wrong with that, but I was so desperate for a girl I thought it best if I could get it over and done with our first child so the pressure would be off in future). I was still worried right up until she was born, but the funny thing is that once she was earthside, it felt like a good minute or so had passed before I even asked “Is it a girl?”(it was probably only ten seconds, in reality); the midwife looked surprised herself, then got J to peek and find out so he could tell me. It was magic.
With P, I had no pressure on myself to produce that longed for little girl, so when they told us she was a girl, I relaxed and (mostly) didn’t question it.
I was never the sort of person who just ‘knew’ what gender I was carrying. No vibe at all. Clueless… but I do sometimes get a strong sense with others. You? I believe are carrying a princess!
my first bub had hands so firmly between its legs we should have just KNOWN it was a boy … second bub i didn’t ask but vulva are vulva are vulva, twas as clear as daylight! good luck Mumma! xt
Ha! Yes, should have known.
But yeah, despite the niggling thoughts, we saw the lady parts clear as a bell. Ain’t no denyin’….so why am I?