The stories keep repeating in my head.
"..had the whole nursery done up in shades of pink and lavender and then the doctor says, "It's a boy!"…"
"….enrolled him, pre-birth, into that exclusive all boys school, non-refundable deposit, you know, and then at the birth, that baby was the prettiest little girl you ever did see…"
It happens. I don't know with what kind of frequency but we've all heard at least one tale of the 20 week scan predicting one gender and quite the opposite popping out, come birth day.
So as I collect things with frills and flowers and bows and shit, a little niggle at the back of my mind says, "Are you sure? Are you really sure?"
Well…I think I am.
The scan was conducted by an experienced sonographer who gave a 95% certainty to the girl prediction. I can only assume they leave the other 5% twisting in the wind as a means of covering their arses.
When the sonographer left the room to check over the results with a doctor, a student sonographer went through and pointed out things again and in greater detail.
Key points: we did see a vagina. We did not see a penis.
In fact, the view of the baby bits was extraordinarily clear thanks to the near perfect Penthouse spread our little daughter was giving us. Such a proud moment.
But that brings me back to the sonographers who get it wrong. How are they getting it wrong? By 20 weeks, the bits are developed enough to say with certainty. 12 week predictions – yes, fraught with danger and the possibility of error. But by 20 weeks, surely it comes down to seeing a wang or not seeing one?
No doubt error occurs because of baby's position on the scan and just how visible things are. But in that case, wouldn't you, as the sonographer, say the view was obscured and therefore, no prediction can be made?
Or am I discounting the crestfallen faces of the parents-to-be, their pleading for "just a rough guess"?
Again, giving thanks for our little Penthouse pet.
Hmm. Something about the above sentence makes me uncomfortable….
Anyway, I remain….nervous.
There were two things I could be reliably counted on to grow during pregnancy – skin tags and penises (to be clear, the skin tags grew on me, the penises did not).
And we wanted a little girl with every fibre of our being.
Getting something you wanted so, so bad? Always feels unsettling. As though it could be ripped away at any moment.
So I remain nervous.
Until that little girl is in my arms, I suppose nervous is how I'll stay.