If your home is anything like mine, you are being invaded by toys. Toys everywhere, occupying every possible space and multiplying like a Mogwai in a bath. So in the name of sanity and to tone down the overtly consumerist display for my children, I periodically go through the toy haul and cull anything that has been largely ignored for an extended period of time. Goodwill gets a bunch of largely unplayed with toys and I reclaim a quarter inch of floor space.
These culls have gone unnoticed. Until now….
LD: Mumma, I need my teddies.
Little Mumma: Sure, honey, they're over there. Which one do you want? How about this one from when you were first born?
LD: No. Not that one. How about the brown teddies?
Little Mumma: (nervously) What brown teddies?
LD: You know, the brown teddies. The really big ones.
Little Mumma: (fears confirmed) Oh, those teddies. They're gone.
LD: Gone? But why are they gone?
Little Mumma: Well, babe, you never played with them.
LD: (becoming distressed) But I do play with them. I always play with my brown teddies.
Little Mumma: LD, they've been gone for over a year. You haven't even noticed. You never played with them!
LD: (dissolving into tears) But I love my brown teddies. (gasping for breath) I miss my teddies so much.
Little Mumma: How about this teddy? You love this teddy.
LD: But I don't. I just love my brown teddies. I love them soooo muuuuch.
Little Mumma: Well, I'm sorry, LD, but they're gone.
LD: (through sobs) Where have they gone?
Little Mumma: To other children….children with no toys. Can you imagine what it would be like to have no toys? That's so sad, isn't it?
LD: But no, they're myyyy teddieeeees. I neeeed them. I miss them soooo much. The other children can have other toys but I need my teddieeeees.
Little Mumma: But the children are sick. They're sick children.
LD: What are their names?
Little Mumma: Jill…Jilly and……Simon.
LD: (mournfully) Ohhhhhhh.
Twenty or so minutes later, during which time there were more tears and Whyyyys? and open hostility towards Jilly and Simon –
LD: Mummy, I was just joking about the teddies! So can I have a lolly?