At one point, I sank to my knees on the floorboards below me. Defeated.
LD came and sat beside me.
"I'm sorry I was mad at you before, Mumma," he said, patting my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, too, sweetheart," I replied, "I'm just sad today."
"I can put you to sleep if you like it," he said, cupping my face with his little hands. "You want to have a sleep in my bed, Mumma? Yeah?"
How I stopped myself from bawling then and there, I will never know.
Today, my beautiful LD, my eldest son, moved rooms at daycare. In doing so, he left behind his one close friend and entered a room full of older kids.
The teacher told me he had a rough start. Lots of good moments but also moments of stubbornness and refusing to listen.
Well, yeah. He's in a new environment, away from his friends and unfamiliar with the expectations in this room of older children used to a more structured program.
And also, he's a stubborn little shit that doesn't listen.
I don't know. I'm not in the greatest headspace for this at the moment but it just made me feel sad.
I told him I was proud of him. That it couldn't have been easy to be in the new room and away from his little friend. I told him it was important to listen to his teacher. I told him I knew he would get the hang of the new routine.
I told him I loved him to the moon and back.
This gig just shreds your heart, doesn't it?