Sweet

'tood

Shy and Retiring

No Words For This One...

Yesterday sucked.

At one point, I sank to my knees on the floorboards below me. Defeated.

LD came and sat beside me.

"I'm sorry I was mad at you before, Mumma," he said, patting my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, too, sweetheart," I replied, "I'm just sad today."

"I can put you to sleep if you like it," he said, cupping my face with his little hands. "You want to have a sleep in my bed, Mumma? Yeah?"

How I stopped myself from bawling then and there, I will never know.

 

Today, my beautiful LD, my eldest son, moved rooms at daycare. In doing so, he left behind his one close friend and entered a room full of older kids.

The teacher told me he had a rough start. Lots of good moments but also moments of stubbornness and refusing to listen.

Well, yeah. He's in a new environment, away from his friends and unfamiliar with the expectations in this room of older children used to a more structured program.

And also, he's a stubborn little shit that doesn't listen.

I don't know. I'm not in the greatest headspace for this at the moment but it just made me feel sad.

I told him I was proud of him. That it couldn't have been easy to be in the new room and away from his little friend. I told him it was important to listen to his teacher. I told him I knew he would get the hang of the new routine. 

I told him I loved him to the moon and back.

This gig just shreds your heart, doesn't it?

Hello friends

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I’m Angie!  I mum. I write. I wife. My husband would say this is the correct order.  He’s so neeeedy. I live with my family in Melbourne, Australia, where I complain about the weather for 90% of the year – but I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Except maybe in Lake Como, waving to my neighbours George and Amal each morning.

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11 Comments

  1. Janeo

    Awww your little man is super special!!! Loving his outfit and hair too cool for daycare…
    Mummy gig is hard work but matey I must say your doing a fab job perfect words to your son on the changes at daycare I know many mums who would just say don’t be naughty and not acknowledge how big a change it us xoxo

    Reply
  2. Rae

    Oh he slays me. That kissy pic is sooooooooooo adorable.

    A total heart breaker… mostly the Mumma’s heart right now, but imagine the future line up. Your son is beautiful, inside and out xx

    Reply
  3. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thanks, honey. I really appreciate that. Especially because you work in the industry. He’s NOT a perfect child by any means, I know that but I think today was a big day and I expect the transition will take a while.

    xxx

    Reply
  4. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    He’s so ridiculous, Rae, I’m telling you. He is such a poser and I can’t understand where gets it from….?

    Yes, he is breaking my heart. I just want to protect him from the world.

    But you know, he is a beautiful kid. Not perfect but a beautiful kid nonetheless.

    Reply
  5. julie firkin

    Moving and honest as always. Hang in there Angie. This too shall pass. LD looks and sounds like such a gorgeous little man. I think he chose you to be his mumma for a very special reason.

    Reply
  6. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thank you, Julie. For the many ways you show your support.

    And yes, this little man is a lovely little human being and I am supremely blessed that he chose me.

    xx

    Reply
  7. Debbie

    Angie, I love reading what you write because I feel like I am so close to what you are going through. I have suffered with depression since I was 18, I’m on Zoloft atm and have just upped my dose to be able to handle my life.
    Also, yeah, this gig is hard, but I look at my oldest baby (he will be 2 years old on the 26 June), and my heart just melts. I love that kid like there is no tomorrow. But I often think he deserves a better mother than me. I try my best but I always feel like it isn’t good enough. He is an angel, a top baby, and he deserves a top mother.

    Reply
  8. Madeleine

    I hate that feeling that perhaps your child deserves a better mother. It’s such a debilitating feeling, but I hope you know how blessed your boys really are to have you for their mumma.

    Love LD, too. x

    Reply
  9. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Thank you, Debbie.

    I’m so glad that you are able to connect with that I write on some level. I hope you know you’re not alone – just as you sharing this with me helps me to feel that I am not alone.

    Your beautiful little boy DOES deserve a top mother – and you were the one he chose. So rest assured that you are exactly what he needs, bad days and all.

    xxxx

    Reply
  10. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    Yep, it happens to me a bit. Just feeling that I respond with drama far more than I should. But then some days, I feel like I hit it for six (whatever that means, I hate cricket!) – so there is some kind of precarious balance there. Fingers crossed it’s enough.

    xx

    Reply
  11. Debbie

    Thanks Angie! 🙂

    Reply

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