Hellllllooooooooooooooo, dear readers!
Extreme and most deeply felt apologies for just dropping off the face of the planet.
In case you didn't catch my earlier posts, we have been moving house.
Here is my number 1 tip for moving house;
DON'T MOVE HOUSE.
It's really that simple.
Except that it's not, is it? Chances are, life will be filled with house movings, and as you go on in life, you accumulate shit and kids and then all the kid's shit, and in the end, you realise you're a ridiculously out of control consumer and what the fuck do you need all this shit for anyway (kids excluded…mostly).
I won't bore you with the details….well, not all of them anyway.
Let me roll out a little bit of moving advice – I think you can all benefit from my experience…
THE LITTLE MUMMA'S MOVING HOUSE DOs and DON'Ts
DON'T move house….but if you must -
DO have an awesome family who are willing to help move all your shit for you even though the last time you spoke to them was at a wedding in November last year
DON'T read lots of blogs about how great vintage is and then be seduced by a house based almost solely on the vintage wallpaper in the kitchen
DO take the time to notice that the carpet is also vintage and vintage carpet is not great – AT ALL
DON'T arrive at the house the day you get the keys and realise that your landlord has left seemingly half his stuff behind
DO have the world's greatest landlord who is deeply apologetic and not only clears everything out but gives you a week's free rent for the inconvenience
DON'T have a major panic attack that lasts for over 24 hours…but if you must –
DO go to the doctor first thing in the morning and cry so that they see you right away
DON'T let the doctor go on too long about how therapy is best for anxiety – you already know that but you need to move house TODAY with your TWO SMALL CHILDREN and if you don't get some Valium into your bloodstream, you will be foetal before midday
DO take that Valium NOW
DON'T forget to be amazed at your beautiful partner who takes the day off work because you are a mess and now you are a sleepy mess
DO have an awesome mum who babysits the kids on the big move day
DON'T think you won't bawl your eyes out when you finally climb into bed in this weird place that doesn't feel anything like home yet
DO go back to your previous house and clean, clean, clean that place until it sparkles
DON'T think that's going to save you from a landlord who is determined to withold some of your bond
DO take deep breaths because it's only money and soon enough, you will be free of that greedy, greedy man
DON'T forget that the universe has lead you to this new home for a reason
DO start to see it's beauty and remember why you fell in love with it in the first place
DON'T look at your next credit card bill – seeing 'Red Rooster' listed thirteen times in a row will just bring you down
DO survive it all. Because you always do….
The Little Mumma in her new/old kitchen – photo credit to LD with the stolen mobile
Welcome back. I’ve felt far too clean without you. xxx
Do have screaming fight with spouse while cleaning old place. I’ve done it twice now and it’s even better the second time around.
So glad you’re in and settled. Welcome back!
Thank you Ladybird. xxx
Ha! Yes! I am certain we have done that before too. This time I was just far too anxious/weepy/drugged. No fight in me, as it were.
PS. Who does a gal have to blow to get some Valium ’round here? 😛
Ha! If only you were closer. Imagine a Val and Sav Blanc date – with Sugar Rae along for the fun!
DO hire cleaners to make old place sparkling – especially if there are small children in the picture (that’s just my two cents). Worth it, I swear.
And… the old landlord is withholding some of your bond? WTF? Bastard. I KNOW you would have left that place nothing less than perfect. x
PS – Glad you’re back!
You know, I always say that I’m going to hire removalists and cleaners but then when we move, money is tight. I think it’s the finding the new bond before you get your old bond back thing.
Apparently, our fridge (only two years old) had a slow leak which damaged some floorboards – but they are replacing the whole fucking kitchen. It’s only a small space but the cost of labour is huge.
But it seems the landlord is going over the place with a fine tooth comb. I am a nervous wreck. In all my renting life, we have never had a problem with getting our bond back. I feel sick.
I know we are excellent tenants and the fridge thing was just bad luck. But to actively search for further problems to pin on us? That’s just mean.
Scum of an arsehole, that landlord. And yes, it’s tricky when you need to find a new bond before getting the old one back. It’s moments like that when the old credit card comes out (for the cleaners), enabling our further slide into debt.
Yeah. Everything about moving is fucked.
Oh honey. What a shitty, shitty time for you *hugs*.
But you know what – that hilarious snap shot taken by LD shows me a gorgeous, surviving Little Mumma, who actually looks really at home in her quirky, vintage kitchen.
P.S How yummy is Red Rooster Gravy! Red Rooster is situated NEXT to my gym. Needless to say i have given into temptation many times…
I feel so much better now you are back! To all the dear readers of little mumma: she did amazingly well considering she was feeling like being at the bottom of a bottomless pit (yes, that bad) and she just kept going. I am so proud of you sugarpuss!
Thank you, honey.
Yeah, we are where we’re meant to be. But far out, it was stressful getting here!
Red Rooster is ridiculously yummy. Really badly so. And what is it post-workout that just makes you want to eat your weight in fried potato? Jeepers!
Thank you, Mumma. You’re a love. Thanks for keeping me afloat once again.
NOTE: The OM (Original Mumma) was not paid for her comments here.