Umm, hey, Universe, wanna talk about yesterday at all?
Because WOW, yesterday sucked.
1. We didn't get the house. And the back-up house? Possibly not gonna get that one either.
2. The library. Namely, my children being possessed by LUCIFER while at the library. Care to explain the horror of the library to me?
3. B and I having a big fight.
Yes, Universe, yesterday really sucked.
But then again, those little potato cubes I deep fried in olive oil were twelve kinds of AWESOME. So there's that.
But I forgive you, Universe. Time is, as they say, a healer. And twenty-four hours have done wonders for my perspective.
Readers, despite your well-wishing love, the house I had my heart set on was not to be ours. In the end, the sticking point was not the cats but money. The landlord wanted more of it and we weren't prepared to budge. Oh, to have been in a position to offer more money. But we're not in that position so someone who is came along and snapped that sweet little place up – for thirty bucks a week more than we offered.
I wasn't prepared for how much that would upset me. But it did. I think it was compounded by the fact that I saw two other properties yesterday and they were both over-priced and underwhelming. Sigh.
I know, I know, I know.
The right place will present itself soon.
The library – oh man, the library. So I've been meaning to take the boys to our local library for a while now but I am always a little worried about them being let loose in the smallish space. So imagine my delight when, on arrival, I discovered that a recent renovation included a whole new 'wing' for children's books, separate from the rest of the library and specifically designed for kids to be able to play freely. Yay! It was pretty much empty and the boys had a lovely time wandering around and looking at books. And then, as other kids began arriving, it was like someone injected them both with amphetamines. They were CRAZY. And there was me, an armful of books to borrow and no pram to strap at least one of them in.
One mother who had two children of roughly the same age was lovely when I apologised profusely for my crazy children running rings around hers. "It's their age" and "They're just being kids" were some of the reassuring comments she made to me. Seeing my kids through her eyes, I relaxed a little.
I realised Zee was probably nutty because he was hungry so I reluctantly whipped out the boob. During this time, another mother and her two daughters arrived, once again similar ages to LD and Zee. But very much little girls. Sitting and reading quietly. Distracted by the task of nursing Zee, I was jerked back to attention by the sound of a sharp reprimand. With a sinking feeling, I realised that LD was 'hugging' the smallest of the two little girls – and an LD hug is very similar to a headlock when you're two foot tall. As she removed LD's arms from her daughter's neck, this woman gave me such a look. Seeing my kid through her eyes, I was mortified.
Somehow, I managed to get the three of us out of there and to the car with a minimum of fuss but not before I was completely enveloped with the feeling of being a failure of a mother with uncontrollable children. I was vibrating with embarrassment.
And then, the fight. The general vibe was that B thinks I've been a bitch lately and I feel like I am not getting the support I need from him. So, a total chicken or the egg situation. Luckily, we're smart enough to know that it doesn't matter who started doing what first – the point is the two things are inextricably linked. The pressures of the last few weeks had culminated in this clash and really, not a moment too soon. We are, after eleven years together, excellent at the art of fighting. We can vent, defend our positions a little, concede fault a little and ultimately, hug it out (bitch).
So really, Universe, all is okay. And with some time, I have been able to see the value of yesterday's lessons. The bad things needed to happen in order for us to move on.
Except for the library. The library was awful. What the fuck was the library about?
Oh shit … the house. I was so sure you would get it. Can’t believe you didn’t and I’m sorry. If there is any justice in the world, the perfect place will surface for you in short order.
The library is the perfect place to start teaching your kids to read. The first letter mine learned was “F” for feral. “F” stood for something else as well in my mind and I think we all know what that is.
No really they love it but I find it most disturbing that mine seem to be the only children going nuts any time we are in there. I don’t know how those other mothers get their children to sit still for story time. Drugs may be involved, I don’t know.
Nothing like a fight to really make you feel like crap is there. Hope things are better today.
Mel, I really thought the house was meant to be, too. I feel sad. I guess in some ways it was the house you would buy – it was just that gorgeous. A home.
But ultimately, not our home. So… Something good this way comes….right?
It was all about F words at the library, yes. I have never done story time because the few times I ventured along, it descended into madness – and that was before Zee was born! LD will sit and listen to 1000 books being read at home but when he’s somewhere new and exciting, forget it. Sigh.
Yesterday was better and today will be better again – even though the start time was 5:30am. WHAT THE FECK? Who starts the day at 5:30am? It’s not normal.
Ah, that’s shit. ALL of it. I’m so sorry about the house, and hope an even better one is yours before you know it.
Libraries are such hard work with two kids. F and I used to go all the time, but hardly ever go now. I think I’ll have to start taking her on weekends, when I can leave P with her dad. Our local library is teeny tiny. There is no separate kiddy area (our old one was brilliant), and I have to keep P strapped in the pram – making her very unhappy that she can’t be free to roam and destroy all books. So she screams, and I can see this annoys the fuck out of every single person around us, while I rush F to choose some books ASAP. It’s just not the same these days. Sigh.
My god, i can TOTALLY relate to the library experience. My izzy is a terror anywhere public at the moment but the library seems to send her even more bonkers. She also ‘head locked’ and then tackled to the ground a one year old last time we were there and then, and i can hardly believe this as i type it – she leapt on his mother! She was giggling like a crazed hyena and i am sure they thought she was semi retarded.
I was so ashamed that i couldn’t take a simile visit to the library without it descending in to hell 🙁
I vowed never to go to the library with the two of them again. I always seem to have to breastfeed and that doesn’t help.
Good luck with the house hunting… It is soul destroying but you will find the perfect place soon and you will go “oh thats why you were holding out on me, universe”
Sorry about the essay!! X
Honey, every time I leave a public place with Jacob, I leave feeling the same way. Every single day of my life. I have somewhat just become used to the feeling. I then console myself with the fact (and it is ultimately so very true) that at least he or my other spawn are not robots. They are rambunctious and full of energy and mischief. That will take them further than sitting methodically minding their P’s and Q’s. I would rather them learns their F’s than their P’s and Q’s any day. But yes, even despite my conditioning to it – the mask of embarassment is one I leave wearing – ALOT!
Bummer about the house – that sucks balls. Bummer about the fight – that sucks even more balls. But as you know – the Universe will provide you with the perfect house. Move to Sydney and the Universe will provide with a pick of two – and a smoking hot landlord 😛
Oh, and you know what I do every time I leave somewhere embrassed, mortified and feeling like the shittest Mother ever? I just play that shit off against something else…I get in the car and think “My children are feral, but geez my tits look awesome today. I have feral children, but awesome tits. Children bad, tits Gooooooooooood.” Works with anything really. Earlier in the week for me leaving soccer training as Jacob had gone all UFC on my arse in front of all the other parents, I remembered I had a Crunchie Bunny in the fridge. I was immediately consoled. Once again – “Children bad, Crunchie Bunny Goooooooooooood.”
I do wish one of these days my children were the latter ‘good’ part of the mantra. But that would be asking too mcuh wouldn’t it..
Love you. Have a beautiful Easter my very dear friend. xxxx
why was it ok for that other mother to tell LD off for hugging her daughter – I don’t like that at all.
sorry the Library sucked – it’s my opinion that in general going to the Library with small children does suck – I mean seriously – lots of colurful books on shelves, the need to be quiet….. recipe for disaster.
Yep, the library seems like a great idea in theory….
But you’ll always have the early days with F, right? Sweet.
Oh my goodness, I was killing myself laughing at this, Jess! Leapt on the mother!!! Hilarious! Just hilarious.
But also, mortifying for the mother. Hugs!
And yes, I fully expect to be saying, “Oh, Universe, you crazy kidder. You do like to mess with my mind!
Yes, I like this method. “Kids awful, can of Coke waiting for me in the fridge” – I’m a simpleton, I know, but these are the things that get me through the day.
And you’re right. I don’t want little Stepford children – except at the library. And the supermarket. And just generally in public….
Okay, I want Stepford children.
Well, she didn’t really tell him off so much as tell him to let go. And then look at me like I was too busy smoking ciggies and talking on my mobile to watch my children.
Yes, the library sucks.
MY little girl was an angel (getit? Angel? Angie). Sat and read and borrowed books. My son, however, even strapped into a pusher managed to pull out a whole heap of cards from the catalogue. Needless to say I didn’t repeat the experience -and me a librarian. However he LOVED being read to.
im sorry you didnt get the house, and that your kids were insane at the library. i dont take mine. sad to say, but when they get to school, they get to use it there. where I live, taking my kids to the library is/was an exercise in me feeling like a shitty parent because everyone in the library has quiet obedient kids all the time and the staff look at me like im the only parent theyve ever seen who has children who misbehave. dont need the guilt and shame. so you could opt to not go. just sayin.