Things you should know about The Little Mumma;

– she is ALWAYS writing this blog in her head

– when her children are being cute/annoying/idiotic, she is thinking about how that would make a good blog

– when she is watching episodes of The Hills, she understands she should really be writing her blog

– while she showers/eats/sleeps, she is thinking about how she really should, but never does, write her blog!

I have many, many things to say. My mind is full up with all the things I could say, things I want to say and yet, these things get crowded out by the endless repetition of my son’s voice “Again. Mumma? Play School, watch it again?”, my other son, “Wah! Waah! Waaaaaaah!” and then my voice “Don’t roll the baby along the floor!” And in between that, the half-eaten sandwiches and fully loaded nappies, the chucking (as in baby spew) and the chucking (as in toy dinosaur at my head), the crying (theirs) and the crying (mine).

So there are best intentions and then there’s the way my day actually turns out. But I’m determined not to let another day pass without letting The Little Mumma speak. So, something quick. A list. Just based on the events of today.

So what has motherhood taught me today?

– dried milk and weetbix would make an excellent substitute for cement

– snot actually has a smell – and it’s not a good one

– just because it seems to be entertaining both children and thus giving you a break, it is not advisable to let the toddler roll the infant across the floor

– doing the dishes might be your biggest accomplishment for the day

– if possible, you should celebrate your big accomplishment with cupcakes

– hearing your child say, “Jeeeeezus CHRIST!” is less funny than you might imagine it would be

– yes, breastfeeding has made your breasts ginormous

– the cupcakes are to blame for your arse

– going to the toilet without an audience should not feel so much like ‘Mumma’s alone time’

– if you don’t cut your baby’s fingernails, he will rip your face off

– putting away a basket of washing that has been sitting there for two weeks feels like you just climbed Everest

– a Snickers is the perfect post-Everest celebration

– all day long time will drag right up until it’s 5pm and you haven’t even thought about what’s for dinner and then suddenly, it’ll be 7.30pm and the kids aren’t in bed

– the forecast for tomorrow looks suspiciously familiar.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back soon…..ish.